Let me start by saying…..and anyone who has the strange luck of knowing me can attest………I do not make any of this up. I even have a friend, who under the right amount of duress (and threat of disclosing her true credit card balance) will provide a written affidavit.
The only part I play is getting out of bed in the morning to witness the insanity unfold. Lucky me??!!!
I was driving home Johnny and the Little Brother from swim team practice. I was getting lost in my thoughts of how I can keep my writing going, what if there simply becomes nothing to write about. This thought was hanging in the air like the bubbles in the cartoons when my van made a “strange” sound.
After about a second, I turned down the story playing in the van to get a better listen.
Johnny: Hey! Why did you turn that down? Turn it back up, that’s my story!
Me: Johnny, stop it! I have to listen to what is wrong with the car.
Johnny: But if you do that I can’t hear my story!
Ignoring the pleas, I step out of the van to “check out” the situation. With one look I was left Thinking, “Aaaaaah, craaap, I knew I should’ve listened the millionth time I was given the tire changing lecture.”
I get back in the car.
Johnny (still whining) Turn back on the story!
Me: I can’t….I have to call Daddy…..we have a flat tire.
At this point I was certain he would totally lose it because he was hungry AND he wanted to hear the story.
Johnny: Uuuhhh, okay…..I have to “pee anyways.”
Apparently, this was a good time in his books for a road side emergency.
And that boy is quick when he wants to be….because before I could yell:
“GO BEHIND A BUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Thaaaat’s RIGHT!! It was an early moon! He was peeing right on the CURB!
At this point who needs flares??!!!
HOWEVER, a moving truck is another story…..it might be about that time!