Johnny and I were hanging out at a Tailgate party this weekend, waiting for the rest of our family to come out of the football game. Johnny had had enough of being in an enclosed space with 30,000 people. Makes me clausterphobic just typing the number. So…………..we went back to the parking lot (we always hang out in the classiest places) to see what there was to see.
Nothing to see, mostly listening to adults who had enjoyed Many an adult beverage and were becoming very philosophical!! For Johnny this meant the chip table was largely unsupervised…………..so………………let’s just say there might have been a little DOUBLE DIPPIN going on. I must admit his LOVE of THE CHIP could be genetic……………I might have been seen lingering around a few chip tables myself.
Anywhooooo……………while Johnny and I were enjoying all the chips, I was hearing bits of the “Adult” conversation around us. The GREAT PHILOSOPHICAL ones were sharing with us that actually texting and driving was more dangerous than drinking and driving. Possibly splitting hairs but I was not being asked my opinion. Feeling a bit lonely in my part of the tailgate I thought I would chime in. (Ask anybody who knows me, I can’t seem to shut-up or mind my own business).
Therefore, I threw out the following tidbit of wisdom.
Me (feeling like an adult party person): You know, I read on a billboard (yes, you read that right). (In retropsect, I suppose quoting a billboard is social suicide). I read on a billboard once, “Honk if you love Jesus, Text if you want to meet him.”
Granted it was not the wittiest party conversation but throw me a bone, I don’t get out much. The other “Adults” grew quiet, looked at me, shrugged and looked away. But JOHNNY TO THE RESCUE!!!!
Johnny: You can’t text him, he doesn’t have a PHONE!
Me: Johnny, what are you talking about? WHO doesn’t have a phone?
Johnny: You know, the guy you were talking about. (all eyes were now on us)
Me: WHAT guy?
Johnny: The J-MAN!
Johnny: (Looking at all the ADULTS like he can’t believe we could be such idiots) JESUS!!! You can’t text the J-MAN because he doesn’t have a cell phone. So, don’t text him, GOT IT!!
And while the other tailgaters pondered Johnny’s bit of wisdom, we quietly snuck back to the chip table where we belonged. THANK YOU J-MAN!!!!