My Rear View

Weeelllll, WHAT a week!!  The Big Brother and Little Brother started school this week.  As much as I entertain myself recording their wisdom and antics for posterity sake, even I can’t expect anyone to want to read every detail.  Sooo…………. in the interest of brevity and keeping this a shorter read than War and Peace, I am trying to stick to the highlights.

Sooooo…….as I said school started this week for The Big Brother and The Little Brother.  How did that go, you may ask?   Weellllll, I am sharing the following photo with you…………………..YOU be the judge…………..

Ahhhhhh, School Days Memories

Even THEY outdid themselves with this one.  What did I say to provoke them……………”Go on the porch, please, I want to take a First Day picture.”  Seemed easy enough.  I’ve seen the pictures, other families take these type of photos and I don’t recall them having a violent theme.  Note the irony of their Parochial School uniforms.

The actual day at school seemed to be a success…………..weeeelllll, that’s according to The Big Brother.

Me – Sooooo, how was the FIRST DAY???

Big Brother – Good, the TEACHERS seemed to have a better attitude this year.

Yeah.  You’re right, the teachers will be beyond excited to hear of this GLOWING REPORT.  Cause I’m pretty sure it wasn’t my student with the need for an attitude adjustment.  He’s always a delight…………..just ask him.  Of course, you will need to be able to interpret his grunts.

The BIGGEST excitement was the NEW Grammar Teacher. *** The previous teacher retired (who can blame her) and the possibility of someone new and fun filled my son with HOPE.  This is what he had to say.  A direct quote is the only way………

“Mom, the new teacher is AWESOME.  She’s worked with kids before.”

Me – Oh yeah.  (Thinking, I hope she has).

“Yeah…………….. turns out she worked with mental kids.”  She was a PSYCHOTIC NURSE.  So, she really knows kids.”

Me – UUhhhh, I think you mean PSYCHIATRIC NURSE.

“Yeah, that’s what I said.”

Moving on………..

Like I said, Big Brother is 13, and is desperately looking for more freedom.  (THAT, we have in common…….. me to).  In all of his 13 year old wisdom he asked for more freedom, in the morning,  before school.

Me – (Playing along) What did you have in mind?

“Well, I think I should be able to watch TV.”

Me – NO.

Gets better………..

“Well,  can I play video games then?”

Almost couldn’t get NO!!!!! out of my mouth fast enough.  And I usually don’t have a problem with that.

He seems bright enough.  Must be my attitude.  Cause that was a reasonable request.

I promised this would NOT be the GREAT AMERICAN novel so I will pick up the pace.

On the education front still……

Johnny has not started school yet, but alas, I have learned that last year was not a complete waste.  We made a run for some breakfast treats after dropping the brothers off.  Driving home, I was attempting to enjoy my fresh organic juice, when from the back of the van, comes the following educational epiphany,  courtesy of Nancy Reagan……….and Johnny.

Johnny – Hey, I thought you weren’t supposed to drink and drive.”

Me – Uuuhhhh, they mean alcohol and drugs, Johnny, you can drink orange juice and drive.

Johnny – Oh, okay.  No drugs though.

Me – Right, no drugs.

Johnny – Weelll, then you better not drink coffee when you drive cause that caffeine is a drug and might make YOU go all crazy.

Ooohhh Yeah, cause it’s the CAFFEINE that’s going to make me CRAZY.  Nothing else.

Finally………….from The Little Brother….

Taking a walk to Johnny’s new school……..

The Little Brother tells me that’s he can’t wait for High School………..

Little Brother – Mommy, I can’t wait for High School so I can take Chemistry and use test tubes and Chemicals!

Me – Oh yeah, that will be exciting.

Little Brother – Yeah, AND I’m tired of always having to do “SAFE SCIENCE.”

Readers…………..I will leave you with this………….words of wisdom from Johnny and The Little Brother,

“Don’t drink and drive and always, but always, Do SAFE SCIENCE.

Hope you enjoyed my week in REAR VIEW.  


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